GOLDEN

I’ve been feeling particularly sunny on this first day of June... which is also the first day of Pride month... which is also the very first Pride month where I'll be celebrating loud and wholeheartedly proud. I remember taking myself to the parade in 2019. I'm not really one for parades — or any big crowds, for that matter — but that was far from the point. This was an outing in every sense of the word.

Even if I wasn't quite ready to say the words yet... even if it all felt stirringly out of reach... even if I just stood on the sidelines taking it all in... I knew this moment meant something. I was speaking a truth to myself that day. I bought a rainbow fan. I wrote a message in sidewalk chalk. I looked around and wondered if anyone could see me — really, really see me — and hoped someday I'd find a way to truly see myself.

I spent the rest of that afternoon walking the sun-dappled streets of Andersonville, browsing the stacks at @wcfbook, and posting up at a nearby bar to devour rounds of summer beer and Fun Home in one sitting. It was a turning point.

And now I write this two years later. After a transformative 2020, where the world and I are now both learning how to throw back the curtains and step into the sun. This weekend, I brought home sunflowers. There’s something so comforting about their bright, ruffled faces. I love the way they track the sun and keep their heads held high. I love how they command their space and shoot unquestioningly skyward. I love that they embody healing properties and long been known to soothe chest pain — heartache, if you will. And I love that their crowned, golden heads are actually made up of thousands of tiny flowers — always and ever knowing that they contain multitudes.

May we all feel the sun on our face this season. May we soak up its warmth and stand a little taller and feel strong and radiant and proud and golden.